Both songs capture the desire for escape and hope for change that happens before a break up. Good memories create a dissonance with a toxic present and make it hard for us to end a relationship. Or maybe they don’t anymore, but we cling to the past when they did. That’s when we should leave.īut even when we understand that leaving is what we need to do, it’s difficult because that person still makes us feel happy or loved or taken care of or hopeful. Sometimes a relationship is beyond repair. But sometimes, the people we open ourselves up to view our honesty as inconveniences. Change takes a lot of time and effort, but when done right it can strengthen a relationship. Sometimes honestly expressing problems to a person can lead to positive change in a relationship. In both these songs, Conan Gray wants to give his crush a chance. Many people have done the same, hoping that things will be different this next time.Ĭredit: Conan Gray | “The Cut That Always Bleeds” (Lyric Video)īoth songs demonstrate that acknowledging a harmful relationship is the difficult first step towards a break up, or towards change. Conan Gray knows he shouldn’t be treated this way, but keeps the dynamic going, showing how difficult it is to end a relationship. While he is aware this behavior is unacceptable, he keeps accepting them when they come back, accepting the painful consequences. They just come and go as they wish, disregarding his feelings. They won’t commit to Conan, but they also won’t give the space to heal from the heartbreak they cause. His crush repeatedly rejects him, but they keep Conan Gray on the hook, a “plan b” that they can always come back to.Ĭonan Gray is a “lover on a lease” and is aware how toxic this dynamic is. The lyrics “I don’t love you anymore/A pretty line that I adore/Five words that I’ve heard before” paint a clear picture. He wants to move on, but they keep coming back and abandoning, a toxic pattern. The song is described as a “melodramatic break-up ballad” about a person that keeps breaking Conan Gray’s heart. “The Cut That Always Bleeds” describes a similar cognitive dissonance. While leaving isn’t easy, it’s a path he’s considering. And he’s aware that he doesn’t need to wait around. Conan Gray expresses this with the lyrics “I’ma crawl outta the window no/Getting good at saying, ‘gotta bounce’/Honestly you always let me down.” While Conan Gray wants his crush to honestly choose to be with him, he accepts that this situation needs to come to end. Conan Gray’s crush needs to decide what they want, but so does Gray. To resolve the dissonance, Gray’s crush needs to love him while sober, or reject him while drunk. While it’s an emotionally harmful situation, it’s difficult to leave when the good is mixed with the bad.Ĭredit: Conan Gray | “Wish You Were Sober” (Official Lyric Video) The song embodies the pain and frustration of being loved and hurt by the same person over and over again. The song “Wish You Were Sober” focuses on an incident from Conan Gray’s teenage years in which his crush would confess their love for him, but only when they were black out drunk. When you stand at that crossroad, you experience extreme discomfort and instability. The person’s behavior is either toxic and you need to leave, or it’s okay and you can stay. When a loved one associated with happiness, safety, and affection treats you poorly, your brain reaches a crossroad. Being able to recognize a relationship as emotionally harmful is a skill that people struggle with throughout their lives.Ĭonan Gray’s “Wish You Were Sober” and “The Cut That Always Bleeds” perfectly captures the internal disharmony that occurs when you are being mistreated by someone you love and cherish. A good relationship can slowly become toxic, so it’s easy to make excuses for someone that you have good memories of. And it can be painfully difficult to accept. Toxicity in media is always easy for the viewers to recognize, but in real life it’s more subtle. It can be difficult to recognize an unhealthy relationship, especially when you still love the person. Sometimes we’re in relationships that we don’t want to end, even though subconsciously we know they aren’t good for us. Conan Gray On Past Anguish & Unhealthy Relationships Through his album, Conan Gray explores the challenge of ending a relationship and the importance of self-worth and self-love. It’s one of the biggest emotional challenges of growing up. Break-ups are inevitable, so we all have to learn when to leave a relationship or accept the end of a relationship. Some break-ups are messier than others, but they all require time to process and move on from. The end of a relationship, whether it’s platonic or romantic, is a complicated emotional experience filled with relief, anger, hurt, regret, retrospection, guilt, and longing.
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